strong

im gunna be strong. i promised myself i would not cry. and there is no way imma break that promise... i cant take it. i can get through today just fine... right?

no heart beat

so i finaly went to the doctor... it didnt go very well... she couldnt find a heart beat :'( i dont feel like blogging today. sorry. bye.
<3 SAm

cliff hanger :P

ug. these shoes hurt my feet :(
sorry had to say it. anyway, today should be really interesting. ;) i have gym with somebody impertant and with muh frandzXD lol. and i asked dylan an awkward question:P funny shit. anyway.
i didnt make my level four :( cuz one of the girls i live with snitched on me for smoking :( i know right?! bitches.
but i can try again next week :) hopefully ill make it :) ok so apparently, chris was talking about me to Evan at dinner, and of course i was told ;) well i swear if that kid dont keep my name out of his mouth we gunna have to bang. im not scared to fight a boy, and im deffinatly not scared to fight chris!
i just wish he knew wats really going on..... something i havent even told you guys yet..... i know right..... cliff hanger. XD
but gym should be interesting, cuz like, yea, something explicit might go down ;) well i love you guys
ostalabybye
<3 SAm

IDIOT

just breathe :) right? thats what my mom says anyway. besides that. you probably wanna know how everything played out today. right? well i confronted chris and bry, like i said, and chris lied, and now im over it, like me and dylan dont care so why should it matter what he says, hes just jelous... so like me and bry talked and we worked everything out. and we both came to the conclusion that chris is an idiot. like ferreal, violets are red, roses are blue? who does that? hahahahahahahahaha. you dont get it unless you were there. and god i hope you werent... O.o
ostalabyebye
<3 SAm

twistin words.

ok, i am so sick of bitches twistin my words! its bull shit. like fer real, if im that important to you that you keep my name in your mouth half the day baby GET A FUCKIN LIFE!!! so chris told dylan that i was sayin me and dylan had sex. well i never said that. so i confronted chris. and hes all i heard that from somebody else, some guy with dreads... bitch the only kid i know with dreads is kilon and i dont even talk to him anymore!!!!
and ontop of all that come around the corner and bry and chris are all cuddled up. wow. way to be a good friend bry. i thought you broke up with him!!!! y the fuck do i have to find out this way, y couldnt you be honest with me?! its bull shit! im having a really bad past few days!
and if you wana twist my words. at least make it believable, because obviously if i would have skipped school i would have had type and you would have seen me sit my ass in the black fuckin chair for a day!!!
so baby, twist my words once more, see wat happens, im already gunna get ur ass in trouble for today. just watch. just wait. but dont be scared. im not a violent person.
ostalabyebye
fml <3 SAm

NOW YOU WANNA TALK?!?!

OK WHY AFTER ALMOST A MONTH NOW YOU WANNA TALK?!?! YOU NEVER ANSWERED YOU PHONE BEFORE SO WHY THE FUCK SHOULD I WAIST A PHONE CALL ON YOUR ASS NOW? YOU DONT MEAN THAT MUCH TO ME! SHIT I THOUGHT I FUCKIN LOVED YOU AND YOU WENT AND BROKE MY FUCKIN HEART AND NOW YOU WANNA TALK!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHH

summer...?

ok, so school, i hate summer school.....end of story. the only reason i go is because im being forced into going. and then i get home and we got this summer rec program bs that is way too much when you just want to sleep. and like, i get all my points and stuff.... but its tiring, we swim like 3 times a week, then we go to the gym on campus, then we have arts and games twice a week, and we have outings on friday and saturday.... its a LONG week. trust me. and like my lip hurts fer some reason... and idk why.... its weird... and like at school today dylan and devin were totally rippin on me. it sucked. like devin told dylan about yesturday and then dylan wouldnt shut up about it. and sabrinna just scarred the shit outa meXD anywayy

my roomate, i still cant believe she would go and talk to the guy i like, i mean yea we never went out, but we have history, and thats enough. so like, you know i like him so why would you start messin with him... like not messin messin, but like flirting and "dating" and i use the term dating loosely. because when your on campus the only type of dating you do is across the isle sitting. baby if thats your idea of romance, grow up. like ferreal. ok maybe its different for guys, comment and tell me your view please, but like isnt there like girl/guy code...? you know where like once you been with somebody their off limits? thats like just the rule? rite? somebody tell me what your view is on that once.

and then like i hope i go home before summers over. because i dont want to start school here next year... 

fingers crossed.

and like i look over and i see somebodys notebook sitting open and their writing a book? wow. 

anyway, i think im done talking now :) love you guys..

ostalabyebye

<3SAm

i think...

how many times do i have to say it, im not your babygirl, and im definitely not your bitch. so stop actin like you can say jump and imma say how high baby. it dont work that way, i am my own person and im sick of yall actin like you can just treat me any damn way you want to. since when is it ok to ask those types of questions. since when is it ok to assume im up for grabs, you dont know me, you probably dont even know my freakin name, so how can u stand there and be like baby this and baby that. thats not my name. so get over ur self, ur not gods gift to earth, and i know for damn sure that there is no way in hell that explicit thing is not going to happen. not with you anyway. im not that type of girl. plus my homegirl likes you. hell no. talk to some other girl. cuz i aint your ho.

playin games

ok, so in gym today charlie asked me to do something explicit.... in front of everybody.... well not everybody just a couple boys.... but it was enough people for me to be known in gym now.... anyway. something explicit, and he was sayin dont talk about it be about it, well baby i know im about it. but idk if i want to prove it to charlie cuz hes charlie you know... 

and then "chip" well his names dylan, and im really tired of calling him chip, anyway, dylan is like blahhh lately. cuz like idk, i know things are crazy with him but hes still my friend.

and like right now ms. alanna wants to talk to me.... and im kinda worried what she wants to talk to me about..... awkward..... help?

anyway, i think imma get my level on thursday, so maybe i can go to the mall by myself for a while :D yay!!!

ok so the question was about charlie... and what he asked me.... its awkward now.... but anyway besides that. these kids went and told ms. alanna and ms. erica about charlie, and now im pissed off...

and ok, so like, my friend alexis likes charlie... so idk if i should even be talking to him like that! its crazy! 

HELP!!!  

Besides that. its time for me to call somebody :P

ostalabyebye

<3 sam

embarrased.

ok, i hate being embarrased. like i really do. and i know you probably know what im talking about. but do any of you have that one friend that just likes to act all big and bad and embarass you infront of your other friends? i know i do. shes my room mate.
then its embarrasing to know that your the only person that has any type of sense around your cottage. or that you stay to your self because your afraid to be embarrased. it sucks.
and its embarrasing to think you have a shot, when you dont even have aim....
if you know what i mean.